


IRIS

by daniqueeninabox



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blood and Violence, F/M, Flashbacks, Hallucinations, Human Castiel, POV Castiel, Plot Twists, Season/Series 09, Stream of Consciousness, Surprise Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-30
Updated: 2014-10-30
Packaged: 2018-02-23 04:50:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2534783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daniqueeninabox/pseuds/daniqueeninabox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in Season 9, Meg runs into a homeless Castiel on the streets after overhearing talk of a man calling himself ‘Clarence’ in the area. Meg teaches Cas how to survive through theft and teaches him how to swindle people out of their money- similar ways that the Winchesters live. She keeps him company, but ultimately urges Cas to set out to get back to Sam and Dean. Castiel asks Meg to come with her even though they’re bound to run into a lot of trouble along the way. ***Author's note at the end of Chapter 9. [[WITH SPOILERS]]]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Longmont Colorado

**Author's Note:**

> [MCBB2014- Art included](http://daniqueeninabox.tumblr.com/post/101312554223/mcbb-2014-iris) Much love to my artist Cristianna ♥

For someone who had watched humans for over two thousand years, Castiel was pretty clueless when it came to their everyday lives. When he was pushed to Earth, Graceless, he had been too stubborn to admit that he would need food and shelter. He was glad that he had, albeit reluctantly, accepted money from that man, the one in the brown truck that had called him ‘kid’.

The man had almost hit him with the vehicle, but luckily Cas had jumped out of the way. After he fell to Earth, he was in a bit of a panic and he wanted to run- anywhere, and he tried to fly away but he couldn’t. He heard his brothers and sisters screaming from inside his mind- angel radio was still working. The sound was agonizing, and he stopped and tried to cover his ears, but of course that did not help. Nothing was going to help, at least not for a while anyway. Perhaps there was a ‘reset’ button somewhere, but it wasn’t like he could snap his fingers and travel back in time to fix this right away.

The pain that shot through his hands when he fell, skin scraping gravel, was absolutely different from any other pain he had felt before- and he had literally exploded more than once in this vessel. Castiel no longer shared the vessel, as Jimmy Novak was long gone. He wished he could have done more for James, but the man was aware of the sacrifices that had to be made. At least he hadn’t been around to see Cas fall too far. He could only imagine the disappointment that would be on Jimmy’s face if he saw him now.

Castiel attempted to assess the situation, but he was more worried about his siblings and Dean and Sam than himself. He hadn’t fully thought about what it meant that his Grace was gone, and so he didn’t yet realize that he couldn’t just make the trucker using the payphone fall asleep by a touch to the forehead. Cas did not have his head wrapped around the fact that he would have to eat and drink and walk everywhere that he wanted to go.

Of course, that pain in his hand was long forgotten once his newly reintroduced sister, Hael, had hit him over the head with a wooden two by four about an hour later. He woke up in a green Subaru that she had stolen. It was a shame that he had no other choice but to protect himself and crash the vehicle to get away from her- that hurt too. Though he buckled up, the speed and impact in which the car hit the tree had caused him to pass out. He awoke to find that Hael had flown through the windshield, and glass had flown back at him. He wished he didn’t have to kill her; but she had threatened to tell the others where he was, to turn him in. She said she needed his vessel, and if he didn’t let her take control of it, then she would let them know that he was in the area. Sometimes, he thought, his family was much more stubborn than demons.

Speaking of demons and his family, he had a feeling he would continue to be on the run for a while. Angels would be chasing him both because of the strength of his vessel and the blame of The Fall being placed almost exclusively on him. Demons had never been much of an issue for him before, but now that he was human he certainly couldn’t protect himself as easily against them. He still knew things that they wouldn’t mind trying to torture out of him.

He found somewhere where he could go wash Hael’s and his own blood off of his coat. Laundromats: such odd little places where different people from many walks of life go to clean their clothes. Angels didn’t even wear clothes, at least not in any similar sense. Clothes were a strictly human thing, going back to some of the first ancestors of humans. Clothing meant protection, but in much more recent years clothing meant modesty. Nakedness was distasteful in modern society- so much that newer versions of The Holy Bible claimed that when Adam and Eve ate from the Tree of Knowledge, they learned that being naked was just as terrible as sinning. Reproductive organs, especially, had to be covered. Castiel had not had the chance to feel shy about his own vessel’s body, and therefore it wasn’t odd for him to strip down to wash his clothes… he had both washed his clothes and himself the old fashioned way a few times before, such as when he was Emanuel. Hell, he had been found naked wandering along a river when he was Emanuel. That felt like so long ago at this point, as if it was another lifetime.

That was the third time that Castiel had run into Meg. Things were a bit fuzzy during it all, to say the least. He had tried everything he could to fight off the Leviathans, the old monsters, but they had torn him apart. He thought he was gone for good that time, and yet he was reborn into this vessel again, picking the name Emanuel from the BouncingBabyNames.com website. He married the woman that had found him, Daphne Allen. That was probably a bit of a rushed thing now that he thought about it.

When he saw Meg, he saw this demon’s true face, but there was something different- she wanted to take care of him. She wanted him to remember who he was. Perhaps it was for selfish reasons, yes, but then again, even angels themselves didn’t do things unless they received some sort of benefit. It was only humans that sometimes, though very rarely, did certain things and expected nothing in return. That was why Castiel cared about them so much. 

But, this demon, though her true face was scarred and frightening and bony, was better at explaining things to him than anyone else had ever been. She was the first one to tell him that he was an angel. He didn’t understand her at first- he thought she was flirting with him (which, for once, she wasn’t), but once he walked up to fight the demons outside of the asylum, his memories began flooding back. He remembered every terrible detail; Sam was in there, and it was all Castiel’s fault. He had to make it right somehow. The only thing he could do was transfer Sam’s hallucinations to himself, but… even now, he didn’t regret that. Even now, he would always take the blow for the Winchesters.

The Laundromat was painted a bright and cheerful yellow and blue as if that would make it less drab. There were a few vending machines nearby, but Cas had just glanced them over at first. When he went to put in the coins to wash his coat, however, was when he first experienced real hunger. This was not like his run-in with Famine, because that had strictly been his vessel craving red meat. He felt thirsty this time too; that was what really got to him. It pained him to have to give in and buy himself something to eat and drink, because it truly meant that he really was no longer an angel. He knew he actually wasn’t human either, because he did not have a soul. Castiel was something in between the two.

He found a pile of clothes that someone had long since left behind, and picked out some items in it that would suffice to protect him from the chill at night and the grime of the daytime. As he dressed in these new garments, Castiel could not help but wonder how things had gone so wrong, and he blamed himself more than anyone. He had been in the process of forgiving himself for his past actions, and now of course this whole thing with the angels falling had to happen. He wasn’t sure what to do except to try and contact the one person that he had left to trust aside from the Winchesters: Meg. If he used her nickname for him- Clarence- then she was bound to catch on if she was close by. After all, she must have been looking for him since their run in with the tablets, right?

He tried to remember everything that had happened then, but since he had fought away Naomi’s mind control and then ran off with the angel tablet, he really had no idea where Meg had gone. Still, he had to wonder that, if they had stayed together, what the outcome would have been? They had a long, complicated history together, but Cas had these feelings that were even more amplified now that he was flesh and bone.


	2. Emory Park, Iowa

Being human was proving to be difficult. He was exhausted ninety percent of the time and hungry one hundred percent. Frequent bathroom stops halted his other survival activities and teeth brushing seemed necessary but challenging. After dumping his blood covered clothes, he went on his way in search of safety. Castiel found a good place called Saint Anne’s Shelter for Men up in Iowa. The two priests that worked at Saint Anne’s Cathedral, which was just across the street, said that he could work and stay at the homeless shelter for as long as he wanted. He had only been there a day or two, but the congregation was kind and so were the other workers.

Castiel washed his face in the bathroom of the center and then lifted an arm to sniff at his armpit. He used to be able to will himself clean, so Cas had never been able to smell so foul in this vessel. It was going to take a bit of getting used to. He made a mental note that he should use one of the showers that night. 

Though he did not know or understand a lot about this human way of life, no one seemed to question Cas’ sanity just yet- at least not out loud. Of course, that might be because he noticed that many of these homeless humans had a lot of their own problems- from health problems (one very kind gentleman- his nickname was Buzz- had a brain tumor, but with no job, no family, no living relatives, he had no way to get treatment) and others had mental health problems ranging from anxiety to schizophrenia. A legless war veteran named Drake was Castiel’s favorite amongst them. The first day Cas came in, Drake turned right to him, stopped his wheelchair in its tracks and asked Castiel what war he had fought in. Cas had no idea how to answer, so he said what seemed to be the most truthful: he had fought in so many wars, that he could hardly keep count anymore. It wasn’t just because of that, but the man did remind him so much of Dean, and of course that made him like him even more. The big difference between the two, however, was that Drake seemed to forever be in high spirits. He had to wonder if that was what Dean used to be like long before he spent time in Hell.

All of these illnesses, Cas could have easily cured a good deal of them if he was still an angel. Helping people like this was something he wouldn’t mind being able to do for however long the rest of his life was going to be.

But he did not have enough Grace left to heal a cut on his own hand, let alone remove someone’s tumor.

He was helping to pick up litter in a nearby park, and making small talk with another man there when he noticed fresh blood on a nearby fence. Cas followed the trail of it until he found the source- the two priests in charge of the church were staked through wrought iron posts, their eyes burned out of their sockets. If that wasn’t a sign to run and get the hell out of here, he didn’t know what was. Clearly some of his brothers and sisters were close by, and he had to make sure they didn’t find him. Castiel left the shelter and found another place to stay for the night- an entirely different state seemed like a choice spot. He wound up in a bridge underpass in Indiana with at least a dozen other homeless people.


	3. Lafayette, Indiana

The underpass was much less cozy than the homeless shelter. He could not do chores in exchange for food here. It was grittier, and a lot more ‘everyone for themselves’, but it seemed that many of the homeless people that lived in the underpass still cared for each other. If he had any food left, he knew he could have gotten an ‘in’ with someone there by sharing it, but unfortunately, Cas had finished his food too quickly. He was not good at rationing. The man beside him asked if he was new at this and of course Cas began to talk about just how new all of it was to him- eating and sleeping and even passing gas. The man looked at him a little strangely, but otherwise didn’t seem to mind. He even shared his food with Castiel.

A week had passed since he had run into Hael, at least he thought so anyway. It was hard to tell considering he hardly slept or ate. His head felt light as a feather and groans came from his abdomen. Time felt like it was at a stand-still, but perhaps that was how it was when an angel was suddenly living on human time. Cas was quickly losing hope of ever finding Meg, which was unfortunate really, because she had been human once. He thought that she could have really helped him out since she had once played the part. Not to mention, he would really enjoy the company of a friend- being human was lonely.

A hotel room- like the ones that the Winchesters often stayed in- would have been more than sufficient for Castiel. He really wasn’t sure where to start in attaining money to get one. Dean and Sam had years of experience when it came to this. He knew that the way they received money was not often in any honest way, and he was not sure if he was ready to try to cheat or steal- it could draw attention to him, and the last thing he needed was to be found by angels or demons.

His best chance of survival was to stay with these other humans. A man shared his can of beans with him and Castiel offhandedly asked. “How do the homeless here survive?”

Homeless- he had been just that for five years. Ever since he had pulled Dean Winchester out of Hell, he had lost the option to call Heaven his home. It wasn’t quite the same as this, because now he was no longer an angel and things were much more complicated this way. The man just shrugged and said “We all do the best we can. And Clarence? You better get used to it.”

Before heading off to bed that night, Castiel said one more thing to the man. “Thank you. It’s awfully kind of you to share. You know, I am finding that the people with the least to give are the most generous.”

He told him that he must go try to sleep now, though he was honestly not sure how. The man had said ‘try counting sheep’, but Cas had never heard such a phrase before. He found a safe spot in a broken down bus and was finally able to sleep for a little while, but Castiel soon startled because of a noise. He woke up and began to head out of the bus, to see what it was, pulling out his angel blade for protection. An angel was ready to attack and Cas was nicked by his blade. Castiel began to bleed, but luckily it was not a deep puncture- just a cut across his upper arm. The angel looked at him in the most peculiar manner, asking Castiel if he was human. Castiel had no time to answer, because he knew that that moment of shock would be the only time he could catch his brother off guard. He stabbed the angel with his blade, killing him quickly.

Cas thought he must be safe for now- if there were other angels, they would have come right when this one had him cornered. But then he noticed someone else stepping out from the shadows.

“So I see you liked the nickname after all, Clarence. But I don’t think you have had the luxury to watch any movies, though, huh?” Castiel blinked as he tried to make out if this was who he truly thought it must be. The world began to spin around him and he soon passed out.

Ten minutes later, Castiel was lying across the seats of the bus. A rustling sound and a splash of water to his face awoke him. He sat up, as alert as he could be in such a groggy state, and very carefully looked over the top of the seat in front of him.

“Wow, kudos to you for making it this far, Castiel.” A familiar voice spoke from over the seat. “I didn’t think you’d have the grapes to do it.”

“Meg?” It wasn’t easy to tell in the dim lights of the bridge. Besides, she looked different to him now, because he could no longer see her true face.

“I love what you’ve done with the place. Cozy.” Meg sauntered to the back where he was and moved to slide into the seat beside him. “How are you feeling?”

He was never happier to see someone in his entire life than he was to see Meg that night. He had hoped she would come, but had been starting to have his doubts that she ever would. Castiel, who was no longer an Angel of the Lord, was the one that needed protection this time.

“Are you really here?” Cas reached out to touch her face, but the demon turned her head to glance out the window.

“Quit it and listen.” Meg whispered, sounding irritated, but there was a softness in her voice as well. “We have to get you out of here. You do realize that if I know that you’re here, then other demons and angels are on the way right?”

Castiel nodded and, though he was exhausted, began to gather what few things he had and put them into a backpack. The toothpaste and toothbrush, and a bar of soap were all he had left. He felt dizzy from lack of sleep, not to mention the lack of a proper human diet, and leaned against the bus for support. Meg grabbed his hand, pulled his arm over her shoulders, and led him away into the darkness.


	4. Frankfort, Indiana

They ended up walking the rest of the night and then finally by dawn they found an old abandoned warehouse which Meg broke into. A few rooms into the building and they found a worn bed with some blankets. Meg led him over to it.

“I have to say, Clarence, you look like Hell.” She said as he slipped off his shoes and lay onto the bed. Meg passed a water bottle over to him, hoping to keep him hydrated. “A close second to when you took Sammy’s crazy. Do you still remember that?”

Cas nodded as he glanced over at the demon, thinking about his time at Northern Indiana State Hospital Psych Ward. Meg had joined the staff at the asylum after he was admitted, though he could never recall a time that she was not there. Sam would have died within mere hours if Castiel hadn’t taken his insanity, and therefore Cas then had to be burdened with ‘Lucifer’s presence’- a hallucination of Lucifer, but only every so often- his brain was already so fried by that time that he went into a coma-like state, and once reawakened due to the Word of God, his mind still wasn’t all there. He knew Meg had taken care of him the whole time. She had bathed him and watched him, and allowed him to go out to the garden to enjoy the flowers and the honeybees. On some afternoons cats from a nearby shelter were brought into the game room to amuse the psych patients, and seeing the little furry creatures had been the best part of his day. He did not want to fight anymore, and she seemed okay with that. 

“You know, at the time I would have been perfectly content staying there, with you, for the rest of my life.” Cas said.

“And yet you’re still such a sap. You never listen to me, do you? That stuff makes me want to vomit all over your face.” Meg said, but she still had a smirk on her face. She rolled her eyes and passed over a cereal bar from her pocket. “Here, eat.”

After a day and another night at the warehouse, it was time to go. The money Cas had left was spent on a protection tattoo. Enochian scripture was etched along his left rib cage, in ink- it was all he could do, and the tattoo was supposed to ward off every possible creature it could- demon, angel, etc., so he continually asked Meg where they would meet if they got separated, because it would be much more difficult for her to track him now. She said that they would pick a spot once they got to the next big city- Indianapolis.

\---  
Before getting very far, the demon and former angel did run into a couple of problems- two demons. Cas wasn’t much use in such a weak state, but Meg took them on, taking Castiel’s angel blade, and using it to finish off the both of them in the process. She went through their vessel’s pockets as Cas kept watch to make sure that there weren’t any others coming to get them. More couldn’t be too far behind, of course, but at least now they had some more cash. Meg and Castiel stopped at a hotel just outside of Indianapolis for the evening. They were able to afford a night’s stay and dinner, at least, with their earnings. She promised to teach him how to make a living like this, just like the Winchesters did, but first he needed rest and he needed to eat. He was about to protest against stealing and other bad things like that, but she shoved Cas into the shower, and then ordered Chinese takeout. 

While Castiel washed, he could not help but think more on his time in the asylum and about how odd it was that Meg was still willing to protect him even now that he was human. He wasn’t sure how to say all of this out loud, because he did not want her to suddenly come to her senses and run off. Castiel found himself falling asleep while standing up in the shower, and when he awoke he was tucked into bed. An infomercial was playing on the television, and when he went to glance around for Meg, he found her cuddled up beside him.

“Eat, before it gets cold.” She brushed his hair back off his forehead, her thumb brushing the little curls behind his ear, and placed a damp washcloth on it, then shoved a box of pork fried rice in his direction. “You’re really bad at this whole human thing, aren’t you? And I don’t think it’s just because you’re stubborn.”

“Why are you being so good to me?” Cas asked after sitting up a little and taking a bite of the rice. “I don’t have my wings anymore.”

Meg didn’t answer him, and instead turned the sound up on the television. The infomercial seemed boring, and so she quickly changed the channel. “Hey look, a Jerry Springer re-run is on. Humans have created such wonderful trashy filth.”

Cas wasn’t sure when he fell asleep again, but he woke up with his arms wrapped around Meg. The heat and solidity of another body beside him felt very nice.

“Is that your angel blade digging into my hip, or are you just happy to see me, Clarence?” Meg smirked over at him. The comment made him blush and pull away pretty quickly. His stomach grumbled as he went to go use the toilet. With Meg being here, he began thinking about the first time they met. 

The first time he had set eyes on the demon Meg, Castiel was caught in a circle of holy fire. She had entered the old ruins, eyes so intensely focused on her maker; on who she thought was her savior, Lucifer. The way she had looked at him with such love and devotion, it made Castiel sick. She was worshipping a false god. He knew Lucifer didn’t care, and that as soon as the Fallen Angel was done with humanity, the demons would be next to go. He couldn’t help but feel sorry for this demon as Lucifer caressed her face and called her ‘child’, which was odd considering what she was. He never remembered feeling anything like that toward a demon before- they were all abominations, but then again so was he. Even then, before his trip as ‘God’, Castiel had already disobeyed, but who could blame him when even the ‘good guys’ were rooting for the Apocalypse?

She had seemed so full of hope, but when it all came down to it, Cas told her exactly what Lucifer was planning. She didn’t believe the angel, of course, and so he was ready to kill her. He remembered thinking that it was best to do it now, because it would be less painful than if Lucifer were to do so… but he was still cut off from Heaven. At least she had been helpful in getting him a way out- she was a good bridge to use to step over the holy oil fire.

Meg knocked on the door of the bathroom. “Hey, you okay in there? Don’t strain yourself; just let it come out naturally.” Cas chuckled and washed his hands, then spoke as he was coming out. “Very funny. Actually, I am fine.”

The demon looked at him and quirked a brow in surprise. “Right… Well, just so you know, we should probably keep moving. Where are your two blockhead friends right now anyway?”

“Probably back at The Bunker, but I can’t tell you where that is. They don’t want demons to find the place.”

“Yeah, well, there is no need to pluralize it. Right now it’s just ‘demon’. No ‘S’. I’m not working with anyone else on my end. It’s just you. It’s better this way. So, can you at least tell me what state this thing is in?”

“Kansas.” Cas said as he headed back toward the bathroom. He began to brush his teeth, and his stomach growled again. “I’m hungry. What are we having for breakfast?”

“We should leave, then. Head towards Kansas. We’ll get something to eat on the way.” Meg started to pack up their things when she noticed how the former angel was using his toothbrush. “What the hell are you doing? It’s much easier to rub the bristles onto your teeth. Here, give me that and let me show you.” She took it from his hand before he could protest, and then started brushing his teeth for him. “Circular motions, my friend. Circular motions. Do we need to get you some how-to videos to watch to show you how it’s done?”

“No, I-“ Cas blushed, and spit into the sink. “Okay, circular motions. Got it.” He took the brush away from her, trying to copy just what Meg had done.

“That’s better already.” She smirked. They didn’t really have much to pack, but Meg began to take the motel towels and a pillow too. Cas frowned as she shoved the down pillow into her bag. “What? It’s comfortable.”

“I’m not sure if I’m comfortable with you taking it.” Cas began, but Meg stopped him. 

“Hey, Clarence. Look, if they wanted to keep their pillows, then they would have charged us with a credit card, alright? They took cash, so they should expect us to take their shit. Now, if you have a problem with that, how are you going to feel about me hot-wiring a car for us later today, huh?”

“There has to be some other way. What if we hitchhiked?” Castiel asked, sounding hopeful.

“There’s no way we can hitchhike, because the chances of us running into your moron siblings increase if we do that. Not to mention demons. We’re better off hot-wiring something practical and inconspicuous.”

“But why do we have to go to Dean and Sam at all? I’ll just end up bringing more trouble to them.” Castiel sighed while he finished brushing his teeth. He was getting better at it now. The bristles rubbing against tooth and gums made a lot more sense than what he’d been trying to do before.

“You’re joking, right? What in the hell happened to Team Free Will?” Meg scoffed and then looked around satisfactorily. The towels and pillows had fit well enough in her bag, and she didn’t think they would be staying somewhere where they would need their own curtains or blankets just yet. “You’re being really hard on yourself, Castiel. Just because you fucked up, it doesn’t mean that they don’t want you around.”

“Maybe.” He shrugged, and then glanced into the sink as he thought out loud. “I guess I just don’t see how you benefit from all of this.” Cas said as he spit into the bathroom sink and then put his toothbrush and toothpaste into the bag. He kept the water running and then washed his face by splashing it with water. Meg rolled her eyes and shook her head.

“It’s because I know that the three of you- even though you are complete morons- can usually get shit done. I say usually because, well, how the Hell is Crowley still alive again? You know he almost killed me.”

“Crowley is not my concern right now.” Castel started.

“Well, he should be. Crowley has always been the problem.” Meg left it at that. Cas swung the bag over his shoulder as they walked out of the hotel. He didn’t remember Meg handing it to him, but clearly he didn’t pay enough attention.

The car that they found really was very inconspicuous- a 93 Chevy Lumina in the dullest brown color known to man. Castiel kept watch as Meg’s small hands went to work on first getting into the vehicle and then getting to the wires to hot-wire it. As soon as it started she shouted “Come on Cas!” And they were off and ready to go, headed in the direction of Kansas.

\---  
While Meg was driving, Castiel thought about what she had said about Crowley. The second time he and Meg had met, Cas had already been working with the King of Hell. He had to act surprised that the Winchesters would be working with yet another demon, even though he was secretly working with one as well. One wrong move and Meg was bound to find out. She’d tell Dean and Sam, and then Crowley’s and his whole secret plan would be blown. He even had to mess up the spell to track Crowley, and they had to have fake bones set in place just in case anything was to go awry.

The way Meg had looked at him then, it was a bit odd. Why didn’t she find him intimidating? He was an angel, and he had his powers back this time around. He could smite her at any moment and yet… and yet he didn’t. She was a manipulative little thing, he knew that, but the moment she stuck her tongue in his mouth, well, that changed his perspective on things. Why should the Pizza Man get to have all the fun, after all? He did not expect her to steal his angel blade, but he wasn’t about to try to take it back from her just then. She needed it for protection after all, and she had promised to protect the Winchesters while they went in to get Crowley. He’d get it back, eventually. Of course, Samuel Campbell being there was definitely not part of the plan at all, but it gave him a good chance to get the prop bones and so on.

Cas had not expected Meg to up and leave so quickly in the end, but he didn’t blame her. However ‘clean’ and pure an angel’s kiss was, the opposite could be said for a demon. That kiss stirred something in him that he had never felt before, and he didn’t believe it was just something sexual.

Castiel had fallen asleep at some point during the ride, and he awoke to find that they were parked at a gas station. “Where are we?”

“We’re still in Indiana. A bit of advice, you know just for future reference when I’m not around- the next time you steal a car, remember to check to see how much gas it has. It will make your life a hell of a lot easier.” Of course Meg wasn’t blaming him for it, she was actually just giving him what she thought was good advice. Castiel, however, was hoping that he would never have to steal any vehicles ever again. The experience had made him pretty nervous.

“Oh.” Cas murmured. “How long was I asleep for?”

“About two hours. We’ve still got a long way to go until we get to Kansas. It’s a pretty big, state, you know, so once we’re closer, you’re going to have to be a little more open about what direction we move.”

Castiel got out of the car to stretch his legs and his arms while Meg pumped gas and admired the view. He blinked when he noticed he was outside the driver’s side, when he was sure he was just by the passenger’s seat. That’s where he’d been sitting after all. Cas looked concerned and glanced around, finally saying. “I have to use the bathroom.”

“Wait-“ She held out her hand to him, and the palm had a little cash in it. “Here, they’ll probably want you to buy something. I suggest more water.” Alright, so Castiel knew that Meg wouldn’t have cared if they wanted her to buy something or not. She would have just gone straight inside to the restroom, anyway, but Castiel was different. He would have probably just stood there and apologized profusely and made an idiot of himself when he said he had no idea that he was supposed to buy something first. Plus, perhaps, Meg was looking out for his well being by suggesting that he up his water intake.

Cas nodded and gave her a small smile. She smirked back and gave him that look… a look she seemed to reserve only for him. His stomach flip-flopped just then, as if there was a butterfly or moth inside of it, but at least he was able to look away. He was red in the face from their interaction, and tried to think about what emotion this could be as he entered the Gas-N-Sip. He purchased the largest bottle of water he could afford, and then asked the employee of the store if he could use the bathroom. The employee grabbed a key with a rather large key chain- a block of wood with the words “LOSE THIS AND YOU’RE FIRED” carved into it, and had Castiel follow him out to the side of the building. He unlocked the door and allowed Cas to go into the restroom.

While he was away, Meg had apparently decided that this was the perfect opportunity to sneak into the store to grab some more food for their journey. Later (it was much later actually, as they had been on the road for a while), when he found out that she had stolen a box of Ritz crackers, a package of jalapeno beef jerky, and a six pack of beer, Meg just rolled her eyes at him. “I knew you weren’t ready to try it yourself, and I knew that you would have tried to stop me. You would have put us both in danger, Castiel. Do you want to end up in prison? Pretty thing like you would have the boys all over him.”

He went very red in the face this time, almost as red as the jerky wrapper, but he did not say anything. She was already irritated enough with him, because after that stop, she had given him a map to keep him occupied, and they had somehow ended up heading in the wrong direct because of his instructions. They were now in Pontiac, Illinois, which was much more North than they had intended. As soon as Castiel arrived, he blinked and looked around. “I… I know this place.”

“What, did it come to you in a dream?” Meg said with a sigh as she got out of the Chevy Lumina, shutting the driver’s side door. She stretched and shook her head. “Because it seems like you must have been sleeping while giving me those directions, Clarence. Well, I guess we’ll just stay in this crappy motel for the night now that we’re here.”

“Oh look,” Meg added, seeming to brighten a bit. “There’s a pool table here, and a bar. I know where we’re going to go tonight. I’m going to teach you how to swindle.”

Castiel didn’t know how he knew the name of this town, but it seemed very familiar somehow. Either way, he wasn’t so sure that he liked the sound of what Meg was suggesting, but he did remember seeing Dean and Sam play pool before. He had been interested in learning the game at least.

They checked into a room and then went to go check out the bar where the pool table was located. Somehow, the dodgy little place seemed to be getting quite a bit of business. Meg was totally in her element. She murmured ‘just watch’ to Cas, and then stood by an empty pool table, setting it up even though she didn’t yet have someone to play against. It did not take long before some creep came over to offer her a drink and told her some sort of ridiculous line about the female gender not being able to play pool. The man then offered to teach her how to play. Cas thought about butting in and saying that, obviously, she knew how to play, but then he realized that the man was saying it as some sort of awful, misogynistic form of flirtation, and Meg was flirting right back to him.

He felt a sudden twinge of anger. Jealousy- that was what that was. He had felt it before. Angels weren’t meant to be jealous; to them it was a trait that should have started and ended with Lucifer. Still, Castiel honestly and truthfully believed that this must be what it was. He kept watch and didn’t join in, because that was what Meg had asked of him.

Cas stood over by the bar counter and purchased himself a drink. He wasn’t feeling all that into this pool game thing after all, especially not if it meant listening to guys flirt with Meg. He was not alone there for very long, however, because the demon came over to him.

“Hey there, Clarence! You just missed my best shot. This fool just lost and had to give me ten dollars. That’s where the real strategy is, not betting too much to begin with, or they’ll get more skeptical that you’re cheating. Come on, let me teach you how to play.”

“I don’t know, Meg. I don’t like cheating any more than I already have to.” Cas spoke with a sigh.

“Okay, okay.” Meg agreed. “But first, you need to learn the rules to learn how to break them anyway. How about I at least teach you the basics of pool?”

Castiel nodded, and they started a game. The rules were pretty simple, and he seemed to catch on pretty quickly- so much, in fact, that he won two out of three of the games that they played. Of course, that was without Meg cheating.

\---  
They were back in the motel room for the evening, and Cas was washing his face in the bathroom sink. Suddenly he looked into the mirror and his eyes widened. “Pontiac… Illinois. Pontiac, Illinois! This is where Jimmy was from.” Castiel said, his brows furrowing with worry.

“You’re going to have to be more specific than that. Who the hell is Jimmy?” Meg asked. Of course she wouldn’t know. She and Cas had never discussed their vessels. This was mainly because Castiel didn’t like the idea of demons taking whatever vessel they wanted. He knew nothing about Meg’s vessel- the vessel’s real name, or even the true name of Meg herself to be honest, and he thought it was probably best that way. It was best not to know about any of that.

“Jimmy- James Novak. You’re looking at him.” Cas wiped his face with a towel and then walked out of the bathroom, looking down at himself with a bit of a sigh. “I’m not sure if staying here is a good idea. Someone might recognize me and that could attract unwanted attention.”

“It’s just for the night, Cas. Besides, you’re already checked in now, and it didn’t look like anyone noticed you at the bar.”

“That is because Jimmy Novak didn’t go into seedy motel bars. He was a respectable businessman and husband.” Castiel started to say more, but Meg just rolled her eyes at him.

“It’s just one night, Castiel.” She sighed.

He nodded. “Alright, but if anything happens then don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Cas stretched a bit, and then got a whiff of something as he lifted his arm. The former angel paused and sniffed at himself, frowning. “Staying clean isn’t easy for humans, is it?”

“You smell fine to me- it’s probably just your clothes. How about we wash them, huh?” Meg suggested. He slipped off his shoes and began stripping off his sweatshirt and then t-shirt, but something about taking off his clothes in front of the demon felt different than when he was doing it in the Laundromat.

Maybe it was those wandering eyes of hers. He glanced over at Meg and then finished stripping, using one of the towels they had taken before to wrap around his waist. She was still checking him out, of course, but knew his survival was a more pressing matter. Castiel needed to learn how to take care of himself, and she was determined to teach him.

“So, this isn’t laundry detergent, obviously, but this soap will work just fine to wash your clothes for now. I’m going to show you how to do it, okay? No washer or dryer is necessary; you just need the bathtub.” Meg and Cas picked up his clothes and shoved them into a pile onto the floor of the bathroom. She started up the water and grabbed the bar of soap that they had stolen from the hotel, lathered it up, and rubbed it along the dirtiest parts of his t-shirt. After that, she rubbed the shirt together. “See? It’s all in the wrist. Huh, I forget that that joke is lost on you. Okay, you try it. I’m not going anywhere near your skid marks.”

Cas had obviously only understood about half of what she had meant. He had a feeling that he should be just a bit offended all the same, but he was too busy concentrating on the task at hand- hand washing his currently off-white boxers.

While he cleaned, he tried to be sure he was thorough, but also realized that he had to make sure to keep himself covered. If not, he would risk Meg looking at him even more. The demon then showed him how to rinse the clothes to be sure that there was not any soap left on them, and then helped him hang them up on the shower rod.

“And now you just have to wait for it to dry.” Meg commented as Cas stretched up high to hang the last of his items. “So… this vessel of yours- he’s got a pretty nice body for a meat sack, you know- but anyway, you wanna talk about it? You seemed sort of freaked out earlier. Are you two, like, fighting over space in there now that you’re no longer mojo’d up?”

“Actually, Jimmy died a while back, when the archangel Raphael killed me.” He was reluctant to get into talking about all of this, honestly. They headed out of the bathroom and Cas moved to lie in the bed under the covers. Meg tossed the bag of jalapeno flavored jerky on the bed and slipped out of her coat and jeans to join him. What? She wasn’t shy.

“Oh, I remember all about your spat with Big Brother Raph. You know, if I had known that you were working with Crowley back then, I don’t think we would have become as good of friends as we did.” Meg didn’t bother with covers, and Cas actually realized he found her… distracting in just her underwear.

He took some jerky, trying to avoid looking at her, eyes and all. “You mean to say that you wouldn’t have taken care of me at the asylum?”

“Nah, I still would have taken care of you, but I definitely wouldn’t have tried to kiss your sorry ass when we were sneaking into Crowley’s warehouse.” She shrugged.

“But that was just to distract me to get my blade once you realized you couldn’t leave your vessel.” Castiel thought out loud.

“Yeah, but you knew even before then that there was something going on between us.” Meg waggled her brows at him. “There were plenty of other ways that I could have distracted you. You’re easily distracted.” Cas just kept quiet, a thoughtful frown on his face.

“I think you and I remember things much differently.” He added after a good deal of silence.

“Aw, what’s wrong, Clarence? I thought that we were on the same page here.” Of course, when Cas didn’t respond, Meg just let out a big sigh. “Fine, we won’t talk about it now. I don’t know what you’re waiting for, though. You’re human now. Go wild.”

The two of them did not talk much for the rest of the night. Meg was irritated that Castiel had gone quiet, and the former angel wasn’t willing to admit that there had always been a lot of tension between the both of them. Castiel almost wanted to bring up what had happened to them the very last time that they were alone together. He had been so gentle with Meg while he wrapped up her wounds- but then again, he would also have to face the fact that he had been the one to just up and leave that time. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to explain all of that. Yes, his noodle might have been mostly on straight at that point, but she must have known that something was up.

That morning, there was a rapping on their door and, though Meg had told him not to worry about it and to just go back to bed, Castiel had gotten dressed and got up to answer the knocking. He had no idea who this person was that was staring back at him, but clearly they knew who he was- Jimmy Novak. Oh no, he really did not want this to be a big ordeal. The man was Amelia Novak’s brother and therefore technically Jimmy’s brother-in-law. He looked drunk and angry and BIG and he began to ask all of these strange questions, but they were slurred so much that Cas was not sure if he heard them all correctly.

“I-I’m sorry, sir, but what did you say your name was?” Cas tried to stay calm, but he was planning to rifle through his belongings at any moment to get his angel blade- just in case.

“It’s me, Jimmy. Chris. You really don’t remember me?” The man looked at him oddly.

“It’s been a long time, Chris. I’m sorry. And I’m not who you think I am, anyway.” Castiel began.

“You’re not supposed to be here, James! You need to get the fuck out of town right now. You go anywhere near Claire and Amelia, and I swear to God-“ Chris yelled.

“Okay, I won’t. And I’ll leave. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize…” Cas was still trying to remain collected, but the man looked like he was ready to leap at him at any moment.

“You have NO right to be here!” Chris moved in fast and went to punch Cas, but luckily Meg was right there to save him. She had the blade ready, and she stabbed the man quickly and effectively.

Castiel’s eyes widened as the man wobbled and took a few staggering steps, then fell over. He began bleeding out. Meg punched him in the head for good measure. “Hurry, let’s get the fuck out of here!”

Suddenly it was Cas hovering over him, in shock. He pulled out the angel blade, frowning. Had he killed Chris, or had Meg? Meg packed everything up and shoved it and him into the car. At least they had been there under fake names, but the car could probably be traced. They were going to have to give it up and start all over again with a new one.

\---  
Maybe about fifteen minutes into the drive, Meg turned to Castiel. “You were absolutely useless back there, you know that?”

“What was I supposed to do? I couldn’t kill him by touch like I used to be able to. I couldn’t will him dead.” Cas murmured, looking miserable. “We shouldn’t have killed him to begin with. Couldn’t you have just knocked him out?”

“You could have, I don’t know, just fought him. You can’t just give up, Castiel. You’re almost where you need to be- it would be dumb to give up now.”

“What do you mean?” He frowned over at the demon.

“Back with the Winchesters, obviously. Where else do you think you’re supposed to be? See, now I sound like a sap.” Meg rolled her eyes.

“I’m sorry.” Cas said softly, turning to look back out the passenger-side window. He wanted to ask her about that last part of their run-in with Chris- how had he ended up with the angel blade if Meg had stabbed the man?

“You need to stop being so hard on yourself and get over it.” Meg shook her head. “Okay, there’s a campground up ahead- see it? We’re going to hop out and ditch this dumbass car. Then we’re going to get another. It will be a different make and model, but the same amount of crappiness. Got it?”

He nodded and gathered up his things so that he would be ready to leap out of the car if it came to it.

They found an ugly white 1988 Buick LeSabre. Luckily no one seemed to be around the campground at the moment, and they did not see any cameras either, so Meg was able to show him just how she hot-wired a vehicle. His hands were too big and clumsy for him to actually do it himself, at least under this much pressure, but Meg was still glad that Castiel seemed to retain the information.

The two of them traveled a few hours more and then Meg stopped for gas just outside of Iowa City. “It won’t be much longer now, and you’ll have to tell me more about this Bunker. I honestly don’t care what’s in it at this point, just where it is. I mean, honestly, what am I going to do with it?”

Castiel began to explain to her that it was near Lebanon, Kansas. “I just didn’t want to disappoint them again.” He added at the end.

“You really don’t know what true friends are, do you? I’m a demon and I have had better relationships than you, Castiel. The Winchesters may be your friends, but they are shitty ones at best. The only reason I’m getting you back to them is because I know you all need each other. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll get another shot at Crowley while we’re at it.”

“Oh, so that’s it then, huh? The true reason finally reveals itself. I knew that there had to be more, Meg.” Cas replied with a big sigh. He was disappointed that he had even thought that the main reason the demon was here was because she cared about him.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Cas? That’s just an added bonus. If you weren’t so far up your ass, you would see just how dumb your statement was. Yes, I would love to kill that bastard. I don’t think that’s any secret, really, but, no, that isn’t the main reason I’m here. Wow, I forgot how moody you are. Moody human does not look good on you.”

Castiel, not wanting to deal with their conflict, left her to fill up the gas again. He slipped away to use the bathroom and buy some food with a bit of cash that they had left over. He didn’t come back for a while; so long that Meg parked the car and wandered in search of him. She found him feeding canned tuna fish to a stray cat.

“You’re lucky we have a little extra money right now, or I would totally hit you over the head. You’re feeding stray animals, even when you don’t have enough money to feed yourself. Do you see the problem here?”

“But Mister Whiskers needs to eat too.” Yes, of course Castiel had already named the cat. “It is so upsetting, the number of beings in this world who are starving. The amount of people that don’t have food, proper shelter, or means to get medical attention- it makes me very, very sad and overwhelmed.”

Cas was pouting as he was petting and feeding the cat. Meg let out a deep sigh, and then spoke. “Well, save about half of that for yourself why don’t you? That cat doesn’t need the whole can. I bet Mister Whiskers can hunt rodents and birds just fine.”

“That means I can’t keep him, can I?” He looked up at Meg, who immediately shook her head. Castiel nodded, then got up and brought the can back into the car with them.

“You’re going to make this car reek of tuna, you know that right?” Meg groaned as they got inside.

“I’ll finish it quickly.” Cas said, and of course he did. He didn’t think the car smelled of anything other than gas, however- the smell was on his hands when he hadn’t been anywhere near the tank.


	5. Davenport, Iowa

The former angel let loose a bit more during their stay in Davenport, Iowa. Meg brought him to a casino after pick pocketing a few people. Of course she bought them both new clothes first. Castiel now had a nice blue button-up shirt, a new tie, and slacks and Meg wore a low-cut purple dress with ruffles around the collar. It was hard for him to take his eyes off of her, especially after a couple of drinks.

He still was not very supportive of taking money from others, but a few dollars here and there likely wouldn’t break the bank of the people Meg seemed to take from. Besides, he needed to live too, and that was just what Meg had been trying to teach him in the first place.

Using the money at a casino may not have been the brightest idea, but Meg showed him how to play and then, carefully, taught him some small tricks that could certainly look like cheating in some peoples’ eyes. Aside from having had a beer or two- since Cas was now healthy and hydrated, he found that he could easily memorize the cards. He was counting cards without even realizing that was what he was doing, or that it was wrong. Of course, he had always been good with numbers, so he supposed that should not be too much of a surprise.

Meg had seemed impressed with him most of the night, and they made double of what they started out with. He stumbled back to their motel and flopped onto the bed with a relaxed sigh.

“You’re a quick learner.” She smirked over at him, and then moved to sit by him, much more closely than was really necessary. He had only had a few drinks, but of course it affected him differently now that he was human. He playfully moved to grab her arm and pulled her down closer to him, but really she didn’t need much convincing. Castiel cuddled close against her, enjoying the feeling of their bodies being side by side. Human touch- that was definitely something most humans needed more of. Castiel was about to move to kiss her on the lips when he fell asleep instead. All of the excitement from the last day, not to mention all the travel they had been doing- and the alcohol on top of that had made him pretty beat.


	6. Council Bluffs, Iowa

On their way while traveling that day, Cas purchased a newspaper and began to look through the articles as Meg drove the Buick. Still, no one in the news could explain the strange meteor shower from weeks ago. Scientists had been called in to discuss their theories, but most of them had just said it was a wonderful surprise; a miracle. Many claimed that it had been the most beautiful meteor shower the world has ever seen. Castiel was beginning to lose hope that he would ever be able to help his brothers and sisters get back to Heaven. It seemed like no one would want to reason with him, or listen to what he had to say, so he wasn’t sure where he would go once he got back to The Bunker. He wondered if, perhaps, Sam and Dean would have a better idea on what he should do next.

When he turned the page, he immediately decided on something that he wanted to do before getting back to the Men of Letters headquarters. “Meg, I know what we should do today. Look-“ He motioned to an article and she glanced over, blinking her eyes as if she could not have read that correctly.

“A haunted jail. Okay, what about it?”

“Well, I still am a hunter-in-training. And I would like to do something to help humanity out for once instead of continually cheating and stealing from them. Since I’ve become human myself, that is all I have been doing. Anyway, they said that there has been a lot of new ghost activity recently in the jail, even though it has been out of service since 1969. Well, it is a museum now so people still travel through there, and that is how they know that it’s haunted.” Cas sounded excited because he had never had the chance to hunt on his own, and ghosts seemed like they would be a good start for sure.

They were at a red light and Meg frowned over at him, boring her eyes deeply into him. “You’ve got to be joking, right? You want to go hunt Casper?”

“I- I don’t know a Casper, but if he’s a ghost then yes. I do.” Castiel said cheerfully, but then sounded a bit more serious when he continued. “If spirits stay somewhere for too long they become vengeful. Over forty-five years is a long time.”

“Fine, fine. We’ll go and check it out.” Meg said a bit exasperated.

It didn’t take long to get to the Historic Old Pottawattamie County Jail- what was dubbed the Squirrel Cage Jail. Castiel tried hard to understand why it was named as such, but in the end he just decided that it must just be an odd name. The jail was oddly made too. It was four stories tall, and three of those stories held the cells, which were made like a Lazy Susan- ten cells on each floor formed a circle which rotated to allow only one pie-shaped cell to be opened at a time on each floor. It seemed highly dangerous to have a prison made like that, because if there was a fire or some other need to evacuate the building quickly, it would be almost impossible to get everyone out alive.

From online research, it seemed as though there weren’t so many people who died there, but Castiel knew that some stories were often kept quiet. He did not pose as an FBI agent when he went into the museum, but instead acted as someone hoping to write a book about the prison. Meg was with him, of course, as his assistant.

Castiel went by the name of Steve Bailey, and Meg was Mary George. She had originally suggested they be George and Mary Bailey- two of the main characters from It’s a Wonderful Life, but Cas decided that he did not look like a George, so Steve it was. Of course he had no idea where Meg’s name suggestions had even come from.

After their initial visit with the museum curators, they snuck into the building in the middle of the night to see if they could catch any of the ghosts there. Meg was about to complain how ridiculous this all was when they heard a noise from the other room.

“What was that?” Meg asked quietly.

“Maybe it was a squirrel.” Cas whispered. Alright, so maybe the ‘squirrel jail’ thing was not what he thought it was at all.

“There were never squirrels imprisoned in here. Did you expect us to run into squirrel ghosts?” Meg furrowed her brows over at him and Castiel just shrugged and kept quiet. “Wait, you’re not serious- you thought there were actual squirrels in here?”

“I only assumed… because if the name.” He grunted, but then they heard the sound again. Cas turned on his flashlight and headed into the main room on the first floor, an iron crowbar in hand. He had salt too, but wanted to be careful with it; he didn’t want to accidentally harm Meg.

“I thought of a number of reasons as to why it could be called a squirrel cage and I didn’t want to jump to conclusions.” Castiel added as Meg followed him in.

He didn’t have to shine his flashlight on the demon’s face to know that she was rolling her eyes at him. Of course, once they were inside the main room all was quiet. It was a little too quiet.

“What do we know about the people that died here? What should we be looking for as far as bones or objects are concerned. You know, to get rid of these ghosts?” Meg asked, sounding bored. He had a feeling that she didn’t care one way or another if there were ghosts or not, but she still came here because of him and Cas was grateful for that.

“There are only four known deaths that happened in the prison- one was a heart attack, and the second occurred when a prisoner tried to carve his name on the ceiling and fell three stories in the process. The third death was when a prisoner hung himself, and the fourth death was when an officer accidentally shot himself during a mob raid during the Farmer’s Holiday Strike of 1932.” Cas spoke. He was glad that he had been able to memorize so much information to help with their ghost hunt.

“Thrilling.” Meg sighed, sounding less than thrilled.

“However, there has been more than one occurrence where someone has heard a little girl talking, and seen cats that weren’t really there. Ghost cats, apparently- and that is why I don’t see why ghost squirrels could be so hard to believe either.” Castiel spoke with a bit of a ‘so there’ tone with that last remark.

“Oh, well then excuse me. So, we should get some ghost mice around here to lure the cats out.” The demon joked. “Why is there a little girl’s voice, I wonder?”

“This jail was built on top of a morgue that was once part of St. Paul’s Episcopal Church. The building in the back used to be the church. Perhaps the little girl has more to do with that than the prison itself.” Cas shrugged. “Also, the fourth floor housed the jailers and their families, so maybe there was a little girl that lived there at one point.”

“Maybe you’re right, but why haven’t we seen any ghosts yet? If your boys were here, they would have attracted every ghost within a ten mile radius by now.” Meg said impatiently.

“Well, we’ll just stay the night and see what we find. Let’s go up to the fourth floor. People claim to have seen one of the jailers there before, a man named Otto Gudath, so let’s start with him and work our way back down here after.” Castiel started carefully heading up the stairs and Meg followed behind him.

There was a crash upstairs before they could even make it up there, but once they did, they only found that a door had slammed closed. It seemed to be locked. Cas was not strong enough to open it, but Meg did it for him. There wasn’t anything visible in the room when they first entered, but the door shut hard behind them again and soon there was a man standing there in front of him.

Castiel recognized him as Otto Gudath, the head jailer from the 1950’s- one of the ghosts whose image had been seen in photographs taken at the jail. He seemed a bit less friendly here than in any of the photos, and so Cas swiped at him with the iron crowbar, missing at first.

“We’re going to have to find Otto’s grave and burn his bones to put him to rest.” Cas spoke over to Meg as he attempted to swing the crowbar through the ghost again.

“I’m on it. I’ll be right back, you just be careful.” Meg left her vessel a moment later, smoking herself out of the prison. Seeing Meg leave the body was very different now that he was human, and he had to wonder how long the vessel itself would last before it could no longer be used as a vessel. He didn’t want Meg to have to take control of someone else, or worse, for the vessel, the girl, to wake up and start freaking out on him. 

Castiel wasn’t very strong, but it seemed as though he had scared away the ghost for now. Of course with Otto’s ghost gone, he heard a banging downstairs which he assumed was either the ghost appearing down there or else another spirit altogether. He headed for the door to find it locked, groaning as he pushed and pulled as hard as he could. It looked like he would have to stay put for now, at least until Meg got back.

Otto had made it back first, however, and Cas had to fend the ghost off- every ghost crew that had been to the jail before had said he seemed to be a friendly spirit in their reports, but he didn’t seem to like the once-angel here during this time of night. With his ghost strength and powers, he pushed Cas back against the door, holding him there, and then flung him against the opposite wall. He began pushing Castiel back toward the window, likely hoping that he would crash through it and be out of the jail for good. Meg appeared and grabbed for the iron bar, her hands burning a bit from contact with it in the process, but she was able to strike the ghost with the iron, shooing it away and was able to stop Cas from crashing out of the window and falling four stories below. He realized that it hadn’t been that close of a call, however, when he stood up. Somehow he had the iron crowbar in his own hand again. But how did it get to him when Meg just had it?

Castiel had hit his head pretty hard against the wall a few times during the ghost encounter, but Meg, back in her usual meat suit, helped him up. “I don’t understand what happened. I just burned his bones.”

“He should be gone then.” Castiel spoke weakly, dropping the crowbar. “Let’s just get out of here for now.”

They left the prison and went to stay at a nearby hotel. Castiel’s head was feeling fine now, and he was wrapping Meg’s wound on her palm. He was surprised that she went for the iron crowbar at all considering it was about as harmful for demons as salt was. “Maybe they weren’t Otto’s bones, or something… how is your hand feeling?”

“It’s fine. And you’re okay?” Meg moved to card her hand through Cas’ hair with her free hand.

“I’m alright. Did I mention that I’m grateful that you showed up? Maybe…” Cas frowned as he looked over Meg’s hand and then glanced to her. He lost his train of thought for a second as he looked at her face to face, and then finally. “Huh, maybe Otto couldn’t pass on. I wonder if Metatron pushing the angels out of Heaven means it is currently closed off to everyone. Any human soul not going to Hell might become a ghost that way. That’s going to be a lot of ghosts.”

“Eh, if that’s the case, whatever. I mean, how many people can possibly be going up to the Pearly Gates anyway? I bet there are a lot less than you would think at this point. Humans are pretty terrible by nature.” The demon shrugged as she spoke.

“Is that what you really think?” Castiel tilted his head. “… Right, you were once a true follower of Lucifer. It’s no wonder that you think that way.”

“Hey, I have my own thoughts and ideas, thank you. Don’t ever think you’ve got me all figured out so quickly, Clarence.” Meg rolled her eyes and pulled her hand away from him. She lay back on the bed beside him, though, so he knew that she wasn’t very upset with him.

“It’s Steve, remember?” Cas teased.

“So, do you want to stay on this ghost case, or do you want to keep moving? Because no one has ever gotten hurt there from these ghosts, except you- but you could hurt yourself in a padded room.” Meg chuckled.

“I’ll keep my eye on it, and let Sam and Dean know about the case once we’re back.” Cas reached over to brush hair from Meg’s face, and then moved in to cuddle closer to her.

It looked as though Meg wanted to say something just then, but she just smirked a bit. “Right. So, Cas, when I suggested you have some fun, I didn’t necessarily mean you had to go all ghost hunter on me. I think we need to find you a hobby. I mean, you were really good at cards, but maybe we should try bowling or something tomorrow.”


	7. Lincoln, Nebraska

Castiel knew that they could probably be at The Bunker by now, but he was glad that Meg wasn’t rushing to get him there. For all he knew, Dean and Sam might not even be there anyway. He knew he would have to get over there by the next day or so, but he was actually really enjoying himself, especially right now as Meg taught him how to bowl. Every time it was her turn, he had a decent sight of her backside and that definitely made it all worthwhile. While it was certainly a sexual feeling, to be attracted to Meg’s backside, he realized that it was a completely human thing to feel and therefore he tried hard not to freak out about it. The food at the bowling alley was great too- the cheesy nachos were delicious. The beer wasn’t so bad either.

He’d had quite a few drinks, and he was just in that state of being intoxicated enough to be calm and smiling. It was usually easy to relax around Meg anyway, if he was being honest with himself, and he felt even less nervous about using pick pocketed money here than at the other places. At this point, they had a good system down where, of course, Meg stole some cash and food while Cas was being escorted to a back restroom. Sometimes, however, Cas found candy bars in his own pockets as if he had been the one stealing. He knew he would pay it all back eventually, and he had secretly been keeping tabs of all the places they had stolen from. It was not as easy to keep track of the money that they took from people off the streets, but Cas talked Meg out of doing that most of the time anyway.

Bowling was fun, and he was pretty good at it. He hadn’t gotten a strike yet, but quite a few spares, and he liked that the concept of it was pretty simple. The scoring took a little getting used to, but Cas caught on quickly when it came to numbers.

He really liked the shoes too, and when he told Meg this she suggested he take them with him… of course, how was he to know that they were rentals since Meg had gotten them for him in the first place? He realized he would need the bottoms of the shoes fixed, because they were a little slippery, but otherwise the multi-colored burgundy and blue shoes were fun. He took them off and left them in the back of the car, then slipped on his old shoes and turned to Meg.

“I know there isn’t much distance left, but… could I try driving?” He assumed it was something he should probably get the hang of while he had the chance, but he did not expect Meg to be as for it as she was. 

“Tomorrow. First, I have a surprise for you. Here, take this.” She pulled a handkerchief out of her pocket and passed it over to him. “Climb into the car and put this on over your eyes.”

“A blindfold? This makes me really uneasy, Meg. Why do you want me to use this?” Castiel hesitated.

“Just do it, dummy!” She shoved it in his hand and forced him into the vehicle, then watched as he tied it up and over his eyes. Meg then checked to see if he could see anything, and then began to drive away.

\---  
There wasn’t a lot of noise as she drove, though Meg did turn on the radio, and then finally she stopped and parked the car, turning to the former angel. “Alright, you can take it off now.”

Cas did as he was told, taking off the blindfold, and then opened his eyes, blinking as they moved to focus on what was in front of them… a diner. He was still a little drunk from those last few drinks. 

“But, it’s a BigGerson’s.” Cas said unenthusiastically.

“Uh, yeah. Well, you’re not a full-fledge human until you eat at a BigGerson’s. As a human, I mean. Don’t worry, there are no more traces of that stuff that the Leviathan’s put into the meat.” Meg laughed.

“No, Meg. I can’t go into a BigGerson’s.” Castiel replied, sounding very serious. He looked down at his hands and realized he must have dropped the blindfold, but couldn’t seem to find where it had landed.

“Why, do you have an outstanding tab at the bar or something?” The demon raised a brow. “Or maybe a ‘don’t serve’ sign with your picture on it in the back?”

“It’s… no, listen, after I took the angel tablet, I hid out in BigGerson’s. All of them; every location that there was. I flew from one to the other to the next to keep Naomi off my trail. I can’t just go into one now.” He said with a sigh.

“Really? But, maybe the angels wouldn’t expect you to eat at one at all after that, and so they don’t have anyone keeping their eye out for you there. Come on, Cas. I just assumed you’d want to eat somewhere good, you know, before you get back to The Bunker tomorrow. I mean, I know your vessel- Jimmy, whatever- was the one that was obsessed with red meat, but I bet you’d love their cheeseburgers. You can’t go wrong with a cheeseburger.” Meg nudged him with her elbow. “Besides, I’m here to protect you. Okay?”

The former angel nodded and smiled over at her. “Alright. A cheeseburger and some fries does sound pretty good right about now.”

How he wanted more to eat after devouring those nachos, he wasn’t sure, but junk food did taste delicious. It could possibly be all of those drinks talking, too.

They wandered into the BigGerson’s and carefully checked to see if there was anyone that looked like they were on the lookout. No one seemed suspicious, and so Meg and Cas were seated in a quiet little corner of the place and then handed menus.

When the waitress came over, Meg ordered two beers, one for each of them, and let Castiel pour over the menu a bit more. “So, do a cheeseburger and fries still sound good? They have some specialty burgers too, like ones with jalapenos and bacon and stuff. I might go for a jalapeno one myself.”

“I was thinking about this one with the mushrooms and cheddar cheese. The photograph of it looks appetizing anyway.” Cas commented, smiling over at her.

“That sounds good. Maybe we should get them cut in half and swap them. And get milkshakes, you can never go wrong with a burger and milkshake.” She pointed to the spot where they were on the paper.

Castiel glanced over to where she pointed, looking at the milkshake menu. He recognized chocolate and vanilla and strawberry, but frowned a bit at Meg as he saw some other options. “What is an Oreo?”

“Oh my god, it’s like you’ve been living under a rock. Okay, let’s get the Oreo one. They’re these chocolate cookies with creamy vanilla frosting. I could literally eat five thousand whole packages of them on my own. So, in the milkshake, it’s the cookies all blended up with the milk. It’s the best. We’re going to buy you a box full of the cookies tomorrow.”

It was hard for Cas not to think of what had happened the last time he had been at a BigGerson’s. That waitress he had talked with about the coffee was so friendly and kind, and yet the angels had burned her eyes out and killed the other staff members and guests to show him that they were not messing around. Being here with Meg, however, did seem to make him a little more calm about the situation. There was no way, for example, that Dean and Sam could have ever talked him into going back into one of these places.

The entire meal was delicious, and probably the best food that he’d had on their whole trip. Food as a human was so much better than when he was an angel. He couldn’t figure out a way to describe why that was just yet, but he was sure he would figure it out later on.

When they went to leave the diner, Castiel opened the door of the car and went to sit inside. Meg started climbing into the passenger’s seat behind him and shoved him over to the driver’s side.

“Alright. This should be fun. Hey, at least you already have a fake license. First thing’s first, buckle your seatbelt. You’re a meat sack right now, and you can get hurt very easily. Really, this should come pretty effortless to you since you’re ancient and all that.”


	8. Cawker City, Kansas

Castiel was an overly cautious and slow driver, but it definitely didn’t feel like this was his first time behind the wheel. Meg yelled at him to speed it up, because they could just as easily get pulled over for driving too slowly as if they were driving very fast. He picked up the pace a little, but it wasn’t easy for him. They stopped once more to switch cars, only so that they couldn’t be trailed by the last few convenience stores that Meg had stolen from. 

“You’ll have to drive faster in this one, Grandpa.” The dark haired demon teased.

This time it was all Castiel’s turn to not only choose what car to take but also to hot-wire it and take it. He chose a 1978 Lincoln Continental, in cream. Luckily, since it was a bigger vehicle it was easier for him to reach the wires to get it started. Castiel turned to her once they were out on the road, and smirked. “That was exhilarating.”

“You’ve rebelled against all of Heaven and Hell and yet you find stealing a car exhilarating.” Meg laughed. “Well, aren’t you full of surprises?”

The demon was not a huge fan of all of the add-ons that the stupid thing had, or the music that it started blasting when they first got it running, but she made Cas promise not to use the hydraulics or listen to the hip-hop music while they continued to drive. They were almost to The Bunker when they made a pit stop. There were signs everywhere reading ‘World’s Largest Ball of Twine’, and even a cheerful little yellow pathway that represented string to follow once you got close enough to the attraction. Castiel had no idea what the significance of it really was, but he wanted to stop to see the ball anyway.

“Twine. That’s just string, right?” Cas frowned as they both stood there staring at the large mass from a few yards away.

“Basically, yes. Twine makes rope and some other things, but it is pretty much just string.” Meg was already bored of the place. Actually, she was bored before they had even gotten out of the vehicle. She turned to look at the former angel. “Look, Clarence, we’re literally a half an hour away from The Bunker, that is if the directions you gave me are correct, and you wanted to stop to see some string?”

“Well, what’s wrong with string? Most things are made up of some sort of string or fiber- clothes, furniture, gloves. Gloves are often knitted and crocheted, and that’s something I find interesting. I could take up knitting as a hobby, if we find a store that sells needles and yarn.” Castiel sounded very serious about this, but Meg knew that there was something else to it all. Cas was hiding whatever it was, and he wasn’t going to easily tell the whole story. He knew that she knew, because of the look she was now giving him.

“What’s up, Cas? Why are you stalling?”

Castiel didn’t speak for a moment as they moved closer to the ball of twine, and he moved to carefully touch it. He would not look at Meg as he spoke, but examined the heap pretty closely. “They didn’t look for me.”

“You don’t know that for sure.” Meg said with a sigh.

“If they had looked for me, they would have found me. We left a pretty easy trail for them.” Cas’ voice was getting just a bit more gruff as he was getting a little more angry about it all.

“Maybe they had other things to do.” The demon pointed out, moving to touch his shoulder.

“Okay, maybe. Sam wasn’t doing well the last time I talked with Dean. I hope he’s doing alright.” Castiel started moving away from the twine again, deciding he had seen enough. Meg walked beside him, and then took a few steps more and turned to stand in front of him, looking at him face to face.

“You have to go back to them. Remember what we talked about, Cas?”

“I do, it’s just… I know you’re not planning on staying. You don’t think that they’ll let you, but just please let me talk to them. I’ll explain how helpful you’ve been. I’ll tell them how much you mean to me.” Cas moved to take Meg’s hand, sounding much more serious than usual.

“Castiel, I know where I’m not welcome.” Meg shook her head, but didn’t pull away. Instead, she glanced down at their hands, then over to the former angel.

“We have unfinished business, Meg. Don’t you remember, the last time we were together? You know, the time before all of this.”

“Of course, how could I forget all of that?” Meg replied.

Castiel had wished over and over again that there had been some way to get away from Naomi. What the other angel wanted him to do was unfathomable and unforgivable. Did she honestly think that Cas would be willing to harm his best friend just to get the angel tablet?

Once the plan was put into action, and once he had been working on finding the angel tablet’s location, however, Castiel realized that there were many things that he had to do that he would otherwise not be willing to do in other situations. He had to keep the tablet a secret from Sam and Dean, and so he had to lie about what he was searching for. He also had to kill the demon that they were interrogating, although to be fair, he probably would have done that anyway. He had, somehow, been able to talk Naomi into allowing him to keep Meg alive. 

Meg… when they found her there, he had been pretty shocked. Crowley had held her captive and tortured her- she had been his plaything for over a year. It was a lot to take in, the sight of her all tied up and bruised in that dirty bathroom. Castiel wanted to sweep her off her feet and carry her away from it all right then and there, but of course the tablet came first. 

Their talk had been sweet. It was good that she remembered the ‘pizza man’ like he had, and even better that they were making future plans. She wanted to ‘order pizza’ and ‘move some furniture’, and so did he. If there was anyone Cas had ever truly been interested in sleeping with, it was Meg. Really, if there was anyone Cas had ever been interested in being with in general, it was Meg.

They had a wonderful understanding of each other. It was likely that no other angel and demon had ever been so close. The two of them could have changed the world if they had just had the resources and the time. Castiel was happy to take care of her; to clean her wounds, and glad to see her becoming so relaxed and at ease so quickly.

It had all happened so fast. The angel had left both Sam and Meg outside, hoping that the younger Winchester would be able to help her out with any fighting- not that Meg usually needed help with that sort of thing. She had a lot of skill and finesse when it came to torture and swordplay, but he knew that she was probably still healing from that past year.

Dean had come along with him, just so that he could get the tablet for him. Castiel was supposed to protect it at all costs, which even meant that he had to kill Dean Winchester if it was necessary. Naomi had even made him practice thousands of times.

As soon as she told him to do it, it was like Cas couldn’t stop himself. He just started beating on his friend, giving him a bloody nose, preparing to stab him with his angel blade. It was awful. He was glad that it wasn’t Meg, although he wondered if he would have been better at fighting off the mind games if it was. He supposed he would never really know, considering the situation would never come up. Dean had gotten through to him anyway, saying that they were, indeed, Family. He told Castiel that they needed him. The Winchesters were the most important things in the world to him.

Castiel had stopped, and he had taken the tablet. He wasn’t very happy that he had to just up and leave his friends- and leave Meg, but he was glad that he could at least screw over Naomi for a while. He flew off and went on the run, ready to guard the angel tablet at all costs.

He was ready to ask Meg what had happened after he left that day, but then he noticed that she was already in the car and waiting for him to climb in.

“Are you ready to go?” She yelled from the passenger’s side seat. “Are you prepared to see your humans after so long?”

“My humans?” Cas snickered as he moved in to sit in the driver’s seat. “Yeah, sure. But first, I think we should do one last thing before getting back to them.”

“What? Not another lame roadside attraction I hope.” Meg shook her head, but before she could say another word Cas’ lips were suddenly against hers.

The former angel moved his hand to the side of Meg’s face, kissing her a bit more deeply. Meg moved a hand to his chest, leaning in closer to him as they kissed. A moment later, he pulled away, smirking although his face was flushed a bit pink from the interaction.

“You know, we could just stop by another hotel and you can get back to Sam and Dean tomorrow.” Meg commented and rubbed his chest as she smirked back at him.

“No, I think I better go ahead and get there. We’ve stretched this trip out long enough.” Castiel said with a wistful sigh.


	9. Lebanon, Kansas

It felt like it took forever, but Meg and Castiel had finally made it to The Bunker. Cas had thought about calling Dean in advance, to let him know that Meg was indeed coming, but… well, he figured they would deal with that when the time came. He had decided that, if Meg could not stay- or wasn’t allowed to stay was more like it- then he wouldn’t stay either.

Actually, at this point he was surviving well enough away from the Winchesters. He knew, however, that he did need to stop in to see if there was anything he could potentially help them with. Of course Meg had been pushing him to go to them since they first ran into each other back in Lafayette, Indiana. 

They pulled up and parked the Lincoln Continental alongside the roadway by the big doorway- the entrance into the ‘bat cave’ as Dean had called it once. The Chevy Impala was there, and so he assumed that the Winchesters were as well. Castiel got out of the vehicle and spotted Dean coming outside.

“Cas?” Dean blinked, looking him over a bit skeptically. “Wow- you made it. Why didn’t you call me?”

“I figured you had more important things to worry about, Dean. How is Sam doing?”

Just then, Cas saw Sam coming out of The Bunker in a jogging suit. “Hey, Cas. Where the hell have you been? You don’t look so good.”

“Oh, I’ve been all sorts of places actually. Meg showed me around a good deal of the Midwestern United States. And I feel fine.”

Sam and Dean paused, glancing at each other for a moment. Then Dean finally spoke. “Meg, huh?”

“Yeah, we fought angels and demons to get back here. She showed me how to play poker and bowl and hot-wire a car. We even went ghost hunting.” Castiel smiled widely, very excited to tell the Winchester brothers just what he had been up to.

“But, Cas…” Sam began, his small smile falling into a worried but sad frown, his eyebrows furrowing with concern. “Meg’s dead. Crowley killed her back when you got a hold of the angel tablet and ran off.”

“What? No way. She- well, she’s in the car now. Here, I’ll go get her.” Cas took a few steps toward the car only to notice that there wasn’t anyone in the passenger’s seat. There hadn’t been anyone in the passenger’s seat all along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Meg is just a hallucination of sorts in this piece. All of the instances where she is there helping Cas- whether it is pumping gas or ordering takeout while he is in the shower, he either does it himself or he's dreaming it up (hence the parts where he notices himself getting out of the driver's side or where he finds stolen candy in his own pockets)- chances are he barely eats or drinks anything throughout the whole story, though by the end he does get the hang of it (however, he's still sickly and dehydrated/starving because Sam mentions how bad he looks at the end).


End file.
